You Broke the BOND, MOM!

He was my best friend as a little child, he grew up telling me everything without fear. Even when it is wrong Jeffrey will still say it, I raised him to learn to be free with me, I raised him to know that the best person he can speak with is me. He became my gist mate, I tell him everything he needs to know, I answered every questions he asks  without making him feel bad for asking, It was a perfect Mother-Son relationship.

    Little did I notice that my boy now prefers to stay on his gadgets all day! He doesn't give a damn any more about me or whatever concerns me. Although I raised him alone as a single Mom, but that was never a problem for us and with us. Why is Jeff withdrawing from me? I noticed too late because I was engrossed in my daily activities too afterall, I need to put food on the table and foot our bills so I didnt see a problem in not having his time as much as I used to do when he was younger. He is grown now and has learnt to play and stay on his own. Better for us as this will allow me more time to look out for other things.

Gradually indeed my son was actually fine without me, and I am fine without him too, But here comes the Big question. Was I actually fine, and was he actually fine too? 

       Covid19 stay home was my eye opener, Hell No! I was really not fine. I wanted to talk to my son, I wanted to gist with him, I wanted to play games with him but No! he has become a complete stranger, he prefers to stay in his room, he won't even come out to the living room while I'm there. We became just hostel mates and there was no friendship anymore! I will whisper to myself alone in my room. "What did I do wrong, why isn't my boy talking to me, has he really become an adult that he can deal with issues himself? What went wrong?" These questions roll in my head before I sleep every night. 

     Then One day, I made up mind to speak up! So I wrote him a letter, dropped it on the dining table and left for my Friend's place. Inscribe on the piece of paper was "I MISS MY SON". When I came back he ran to the door with his arms widely open for a hug and with tears rolling down  his eyes, he managed to whisper " Mom, I miss you too." I was surprised to hear that so we sat down to talk. I asked "what exactly went wrong Jeff?" And he said " Mom, You broke the BOND."

 "What Bond? Jeff," I asked. 

First! Mom what did I do wrong that you stopped talking to me? You were not the same mother I knew when I was growing Up! My mother used to be very caring, compassionate and always here for me to talk to, but the woman I am talking to right now changed three (3) years ago. I remembered trying to talk to you even in the late hours when you return home and all you say is, Its been a busy day, you need to relax.what choice do I have as a little boy than to feel so sorry for you and allow you rest. Sometimes I want to tell you how bad my friends made jest of me in school, Sometimes I long to tell you how well I did in my Arithmetic but no Its always a glooming look that sends me back to my room without saying a word. At first I felt it was actually because you were tired. Little did I realise that you stopped wanting ro talk to me. You broke the COMMUNICATION BOND, which to me is the strongest connection that got me stucked to you every minute. 

   Secondly Mom, we use to eat together, those three years Mom, We never ate dinner together neither do you call me to join you anymore when you are eating, I replied without hesitation, hey son! You grew up and I thought you wouldn't like the idea any more! Jeffrey continued. You didnt even try to see if I was really grown enough to refuse eating with my mom or eating from the same plates, little things you did when I was younger and it helped foster our relationship. Mom do you need me to ask the last time you played with me, not even your favourite scrabble game, but now I learnt to play my scrabble on my IPad.just not so fun without you. 

      I realised you suddenly came back to start again because you were forced to stay home during this pandemic period. I knew how much you really wanted us to relate again but I'm sorry mom, you broke the bond I use to cherish a lot. 

       Dear Mothers! Please take note of this your child is never too grown for you to talk to. Those days at childhood when you allow them talk to you and you listen to them, some of Them grew up to be Used to that. Dont break the Bond of communication... It doesn't come back easily at adulthood. Stay Connected. 

Jeffrey connected back to his mom, because she realized it before it was too late, although it was getting late but its better late than never. 

Yetunde Adedokun

Kids Advocate